But You Don’t Look Sick…

Hey Crohnies and Lucky Coiners,

The title of this post is something myself and so many other people with invisible illnesses hear on a daily basis. It’s well intentioned most of the time and when it’s not it’s normally accusatory so it’s a fine line between a compliment and an accusation. Thus, the problem with having an invisible illness.

Some days I wish more than anything that I had something people could see at a glance and just know I’m unwell, however, if I did I could never pretend I’m a normal person like most other 22 year olds. 

Take this picture for example, it’s great what a truckload of make up, a weave and a filter (thank you Instagram) can do. 

You’d never guess looking at this picture that I’m currently about to start yet another course of antibiotics (I rarely can go more than 2 weeks without 500mg of flucloxicillin 4 times a day) and that I have an ostomy and have a bag, alongside a constant skin infection that leaves me scared to go out my house apart from the rare occasions I can’t cope being cooped up anymore. You’d also never guess that I am terrified to go anywhere alone in case I get faint, sick or have really bad pain… Pretty much each of these occur daily. 

Under my jeans you’d never guess that I’m in constant pain, mind you sometimes you’d never guess under my bag I was in so much pain because I have to tape it up so much that any kind of air, water or cream touching the infected skin leads to my crying out in pain. It’s hard to see in the picture but inside my belly button is also infected with thanks to the constant leaks I get from the bag and it bleeds any time I change the bag or wash the area. 

This is sadly my life for the foreseeable future as I’ll never be cured of the Crohn’s that has controlled me for the last 10 years and I’ve very little options left apart from more surgery.

I’m posting this to raise awareness of invisible illnesses, I can’t describe any of the others personally, but this is my first hand experience of looking fine in clothes but having a totally different look without them. 

I hope you all have a chilled Sunday,

Jen x

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