Struggling At The Moment.

Hey Crohnies and Lucky Coiners,

Sorry again for my breaks between posts but at this point I’m so stressed with uni, being told there’s nothing more that can be done with the state of my stoma with its constant infection, leaks, pain and being sad about missing Duncan that I’m really finding it difficult to get motivated to make an effort these days with dressing nicely and even looking for new clothes

I’ve been trying to get help with my business plan too so I can finish my application to the West Dunbartonshire Enterprise Challenge but with only a few days and not getting the help I need for it, it’s looking unlikely. I’ve also been trying to go to uni but with the happenings of the last few weeks in all honesty I’ve hardly attended and I am seriously wishing I didn’t apply this year because it feels like a waste of time while I’m like this.

The realisation that this may be the best health I’ll find too is absolutely gutting as I’ve been told that there’s nothing else that my stoma nurse can do to help with the dermatitis under my bag, the pain caused by it, the infection that is caused due to the poo getting into the cracked and cut areas of skin which is basically all over it. I’d post a picture but the state it’s in is embarrassing and I’m definitely not comfortable enough to get my stoma out. Since this is the point I’m at and while being unwell like this there is no way I can hold down any kind of job which is terrifying as this could be my life and I might never be able to live up to my potential and living on disability benefits for life being a very real possibility for me. I mean who ever thinks they’ll have no prospects at 22?

Due to all of this I’m really struggling to find the effort to get out of bed again and I’m really not sure when it will change but I am trying, even if it doesn’t look like it on here, I’m still trying to push on with this project for Duncan.

I’m sorry I’m not doing enough,

Jen x

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5 Comments

  1. Dear Jen,
    I am so sorry that you feel like this. I won’t give you any “hang in there, chin up, shit isn’t so bad” talk, because all of this sucks. All that happened to you would be brutal by itself, bundled it is painful to read, so I can get a tenth of how you feel. You have every right to feel that way, and don’t have to apologize to anybody. Just know you are not alone. Sending good vibes your way.

  2. Hi Jen,
    Sorry to hear all of that. Agree with vjhutter – no need to apologise to anyone. Thanks for taking the time to share these feelings on here. Also sending good vibes your way.
    Tom

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